...last weekend i realized that it had been 6 months to the day that I had to put Teatea down. Funny how i can't remember someone's name I just met, but yet i can create an internal clock that reminds me of a painful half-anniversary and not even know that I did. bad brain. ]= When the realization hit me, I found myself blank-staring at the wall in my room, sitting on the bed where we had her put down. Then the tears came. I never stop them from coming...they seem to honor her and how very important she is/was to me in the course of our everyday life together....so the tears came. Then i realized i didn't have any kleenex....all i had was this single ply seventh generation toilet paper that disintegrates on contact with water, which eventually became hilarious as I picked shreds of tear-soaked toilet paper from all over my face and the bed around me. So I laughed and cried until the headache came (from crying) and laid down and took a nap....what else was there to do? sigh....such a rough and melancholy journey we're forced to go on when we love and lose like we do. I still have some of her hair that I cut from the back of her neck before the creamatorium came to pick up her body.....I put it in a ziplock bag and stuffed it into my jewelry box....and haven't worn a piece of jewelry from that drawer in 6 months. I can't get myself to look. But I know it's there....and I'm glad it is. I'm also glad that I had Teatea creamated. She hated outdoors and only knew the world that we were in together, so that's where she'll stay forever. I don't exactly know how you can get your pets ashes mixed in with your own when you die, but that's my plan. If I'm lucky, by the time that time comes, I'll need one heck of a big urn for me and all my well-loved critters..... sigh. i miss Teatea. And I'm sure she knows it. (By the by, I asked her to send the next one that needed us =^..^= and she has.....she is hell on wheels and only 4 months old. See www.fuzzyjoy.blogspot.com to watch how well we cope with a kitten who's going for partial global domination by the end of this year. I think I'm going to have to resort to clicker training on this one....sigh....thanks Teatea...we did ask for it though, didn't we?! [=
