Saturday, January 31, 2009

...the day i have always dreaded has arrived....

.....one thing about the internet is that is sure is a good place to pour your feelings out...I am going to have to put my best friend down on Monday and I don't know what to do with all the emotions that I've dreaded since she turned 14 (for some reason that was the cut-off date for elderly to OLD cat for me)..she will be just shy of her 19th birthday on valentine's day.  The most difficult part is that her mind is clear and bright....but her arthritis has finally gotten to the point where one of her hind legs doesn't work and the other is weakened so much that she can't walk further than 4 or 5 steps. She stopped eating about 4 days ago, but is still drinking and with help, getting to the litterbox. We've been giving subQ fluids for the last 3 days and she's gotten a bit brighter, but that still won't change her hind end.....her decline over the last 3 days has been so quick that it's been heartwrenching.  I just had a home vet come yesterday and she stated that the cat was "not ready to be put down quite yet" based on heart, gums, palpating and pee test.  And now, becaus ethe home vet doesn't work on Sunday, it has to wait til Monday morning....(office vet not an option.)  My cat is still crawling out of her bed whenever she hears my dh and I come into the room, which breaks my heart and makes me so proud of her at the same time.  I can't believe the time is here.  Perhaps I'd find it easier if she was visually in pain....or if she was obviously senile and not knowing who we were, but perhaps that's where the blessing lies....it will be tougher for us but perhaps an easier ending for her.